by Melissa Hinshaw, LMT
Why is so hard for us to say it like it is? Why do we apologize for everything and feel like we need to dampen bad news, sad news, and even celebratory and exciting news? We are each other’s sisters and sisters share it all without fear of judgment or jealousy. I’m writing about this today because next week I turn fifty years old and it has taken me almost the full fifty to realize that saying like it is, being REAL with my sisters is freeing, contagious, and often worth a gut busting laugh…
I had been thinking about this one for some time when a colleague at work who is always upbeat and gorgeous, was talking about what was going on in her incredibly busy life and she apologized for being negative. What? What are you apologizing for? Share with me. Tell me what is happening and maybe, just maybe it will lighten your load. You are still the fabulous, strong woman you were yesterday but needing to vent doesn’t change the way I see you. Actually, I see you as being more human today than than yesterday. On another day I was having a conference with a nurse who helps families with kids with disabilities. I have a disabled son. She knows me well and often I can make her laugh and cry in the same conversation. She knows my story and we were discussing how I use humor and laughter to cope. On her way out of my house she shared with me that her eighteen year old son had just overcome cancer and she said that laughing and actually making jokes about the cancer is what got her family through. I was shocked about her kiddo. She had never mentioned his illness during any of our monthly meetings. Well, five minutes had not passed when I heard a, “ping,” and she had texted me and APOLOGIZED for sharing with me about her son and hoped that she hadn’t overstepped. I called her immediately. “You MUST share with me! I want to know your story. I want to hear you my friend, and I am HERE for you.” Let’s face it ladies. We need each other so let’s start getting used to that.
On the flip side of the above, tell me when I am gorgeous because I am going to tell you! If you hang around me you are going to know you when you look fabulous, when I think you are outrageously funny, when your style catches my eye, when I covet your earrings and I promise to make you laugh with perhaps a not so proper joke. We can talk about sex and life and kids and giggle and maybe even learn a few things. Being real is like being the kid in the classroom who raises her hand with the question that everyone has, but no one wants to ask…it liberates everyone and the entire class starts to chime in on the conversation. Words cannot describe how wonderful an unexpected compliment or goodie or whatever, can make you feel. I call it a “love-tap” and I give them out all the time, and often to people I do not even know. Are we getting the idea my sisters? Let’s be real and honest with one another and the vibe will pass itself along exponentially. Our feminine power and goodness will grow and in my mind, that is exactly what the planet could use a good dose of.