Pregnancy Loss and Rambo?

In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day, we thought we'd share this except from Beth and Tami's book the Infertility Cleanse.  Beth shares how Rambo inspired her to move forward after a devastating loss. 

For those of you who do not know my story, I was one of those gals who unfortunately needed seven years and five pregnancies to get two children. One of my losses was particularly difficult - a stillbirth in the 38th week of a pregnancy. For this book Tami asked me to write about how I managed to make it through the subsequent pregnancy which resulted in the arrival of my first son, Jackson, one month before Pulling Down the Moon opened our first center in Chicago. She probably thought I might have some words of wisdom for dealing with the anxiety and, yes, I would call it post-traumatic stress that are part of a subsequent pregnancy after such a loss. 

I don’t. You see, I didn’t become a buddha during my pregnancy with Jackson - I became Rambo. I strapped on my ammunition, my night-vision goggles and popped a few grenades in my pockets and set off into a jungle of terror.  It came down to a simple cost-benefit analysis. I knew that I wanted a baby so badly that I would risk the devastating disappointment of another loss. 

Just last week I spoke to a woman who had suffered two very late miscarriages in a row. She was still reeling from her most recent loss and was asking me that same heartbreaking question - how am I going to have the courage to do this again? So I shared with her my Rambo story. 

“Are you sure you’re my yoga teacher?” she asked. 

“Yes. I’m teaching you Rambo Fertility Yoga, “ I replied.

So here’s what I told her. Literally imagine that you are a fearless person - whether that’s Rambo (my image) or Joan of Arc or a Resistance fighter during World War II - and each morning put on all your trappings of fearlessness. Whether it’s Rambo’s Uzi or fishnet stockings with a pistol tucked into your garter, or a suit of shining armor, put it on. When the waves of panic start to roll in you can rest your hand on your sword hilt. It’s amazing how brave you can become when call on these archetypes of courage. 

While it may sound silly, using this sort of visualization to conquer a fear can be enormously cleansing. By choosing an archetype of courage we become courageous ourselves. The fear and panic thoughts that arise have no place to stick to this image and, with effort and conviction, they become just that - thoughts.

Hang in there Lovelies!  You can do this and if you need help, we're here for you at Pulling Down the Moon.