Car and Fertility Maintenance: A Metaphor

Most of us have a car (or something similar) to take care of. With that responsibility comes maintenance and care. We do this to ensure our car is reliable and available for use. Yet it might still break down. That dreadful red engine light comes on and flashes its ugly light annoyingly in our face. Our heads fall back against the seat and maybe like me, you’ve thought “Why? I don’t have time for this! I just took my car in, everything was fine!” We do everything right and yet, it doesn’t run as expected. Car maintenance is akin to our fertility journey. We maintain and care for our bodies by eating right, exercising, lowering stressors, following doctors’ orders, and taking vitamins, just to name a few. Yet our bodies don’t perform as expected. So instead of getting that red warning light, we get negative pregnancy tests. While we don’t have control over the results of our maintenance, we do have control over our reaction to the “news”. You might not be ready to consider Plan B, but be aware of your attachment to the results of Plan A. We keep maintaining, expecting different results, yet we get more of the same. F@@k! This isn’t what was supposed to happen. We are so tied to “Plan A”, that we can’t or are not ready to consider other options. Instead of holding so tightly to Plan A, can we open ourselves to Plan B? With the ultimate goal of becoming parents, regardless of how we get there.



If you always looked at your car as broken and unreliable, it’s not a stretch to say you might think of it negatively. Possibly referring to it as “Old Unreliable” or “That Car.” In time you might grow to resent it. The same goes for our fertility and our body. We can choose to go through this journey broken and sad, coloring our fertility black or instead we go through it hopeful and optimistic. Which would you rather choose? Unlike the car we are not broken, yet it feels like it. The next time you get unexpected fertility news, take a deep breath and step off the emotional roller coaster. That isn’t to say not to have your emotion, by all means have it, but then step back and decide how to move forward. It’s when we get off the emotional roller coaster that we can reassert control of the process. One way we can reassert this control is through breath-work, yoga, and mediation. Add these to your treatment plan today!